Many people will not touch Facebook for all the gold in South Africa. Many more who use Facebook are very, very wary of connecting with people they do not know or have not had physical contact with offline. Given the scams and other such schemes that abound, I am not surprised that they are that cautious.
While I also exercise a great deal of care, I like Facebook and the ability it gives me to reach out and touch other people. I have met quite a number of people on this medium who are in the process of becoming good friends. Some I have had face-to-face meetings with. Others I am yet to meet. I am amazed at the impactful positive use that these friends are making of Facebook.
One friend has used the medium to connect friends who have resources with widows who were despairing and had no one to run to. Another has used it to raise funds for medical treatment for a little girl who desperately needed it but didn't have anyone to who she could turn. Another is using it to connect young wives in different corners of Nigeria who want to have balance in their lives, husbands, children, work and everything else. Another is using it to help people understand how to make their marriages work. Yet another is using it get his friends to examine their beliefs in the light of the Scriptures and not just hold on to long held myths. I could go on....
I have been thinking about these as well as all the very negative uses that Facebook has been put too by many other people. I realise that friendship on Facebook, indeed any social media is no different from face-to-face or physical contact friendships. We make good and bad friedship choices.
Dr. John Townsend in his book, "How to Be a Best Friend Forever", (that's the book I'm reading now, remember?) said, "Most best friendships begin as we simply pass through life and meet someone we like". According to him, people meet their friends in the one or more of the following sources:
- Your kids are friends with their kids
- Childhood and school days
- College
- Workplace
- Neighbourhood
- Church
- Introduction from a mutual friend
- Chance encounter
I like to think that social media falls into the chance encounter category.
In life, we should choose friends based on principles. Dr. Townsend posits that a friendship should have three elements.
- Knowing. Having objective information and personal experience with the person which provides the foundation of whether or not this relationship will be a friendship, and how deep it can go
- Liking. You are drawn to each other's presence.
- Presence. Friends spend time together, that's how knowing and liking happens.
I like the sound of that. It gives me a basis for evaluating my relationships even on social media. Although, deceitful people provide false information in their profiles, I find that by applying principle 1. above, I shut out a significant percentage of them. I think that my friends who I mentioned above have achieved the success they have with social media because they have chosen their friends based on principles.
Should you want the book, "How to Be A Best Friend Forever" by Dr. John Townsend, let me know in the comment box below.
And now it's your turn. Would you like to share with me something from the book you are reading?
I am not really a social media freck and I can't say I have found new friends on Facebook or any other social media but I do agree you cannot say where and how you would meet someone who can turn your life around or vice versa.
ReplyDeleteI just finished a book Showers of Blessings by Beverly LaHaye and it just sums up what friendship is all about. In fact the book touched me so much that I decide to be more accommodating with people and also change my principle to life. Which Is That Whoever I come across in life or whoever God places in my path I have to impart a postie knowledge or something to that person. I strongly belive that God places people in our path for a reason
So in essence I would say that God should use me as a vessel that will touch people positively whether face to face or social media.
Tolu,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I do agree that God places people in our paths, and so we need to be conscious in our interaction with them. In times past, I met lovely people but did not go on to be real friends with them. Looking back now, I realise that it's because I didn't how to nurture friendships. Perhaps they also didn't know how to.
The good thing is that we all have capacity to learn and there are good books, like the one you mentioned to learn from.
I wish you an exciting journey into real friendship.