Facebook Friends...

Many people will not touch Facebook for all the gold in South Africa. Many more who use Facebook are very, very wary of connecting with people they do not know or have not had physical contact with offline. Given the scams and other such schemes that abound, I am not surprised that they are that cautious.

While I also exercise a great deal of care, I like Facebook and the ability it gives me to reach out and touch other people. I have met quite a number of people on this medium who are in the process of becoming good friends. Some I have had face-to-face meetings with. Others I am yet to meet. I am amazed at the impactful positive use that these friends are making of Facebook.

One friend has used the medium to connect friends who have resources with widows who were despairing and had no one to run to. Another has used it to raise funds for medical treatment for a little girl who desperately needed it but didn't have anyone to who she could turn. Another is using it to connect young wives in different corners of Nigeria who want to have balance in their lives, husbands, children, work and everything else. Another is using it to help people understand how to make their marriages work. Yet another is using it get his friends to examine their beliefs in the light of the Scriptures and not just hold on to long held myths. I could go on....

I have been thinking about these as well as all the very negative uses that Facebook has been put too by many other people. I realise that friendship on Facebook, indeed any social media is no different from face-to-face or physical contact friendships. We make good and bad friedship choices.

Dr. John Townsend in his book, "How to Be a Best Friend Forever", (that's the book I'm reading now, remember?) said, "Most best friendships begin as we simply pass through life and meet someone we like".  According to him, people meet their friends in the one or more of the following sources:

• Your kids are friends with their kids
• Childhood and school days
• College
• Workplace
• Neighbourhood
• Church
• Introduction from a mutual friend
• Chance encounter

I like to think that social media falls into the chance encounter category.

In life, we should choose friends based on principles. Dr. Townsend posits that a friendship should have three elements.

1. Knowing. Having objective information  and personal experience with the person which provides the foundation of whether or not this relationship will be a friendship, and how deep it can go
2. Liking. You are drawn to each other's presence.
3. Presence. Friends spend time together, that's how knowing and liking happens.

I like the sound of that. It gives me a basis for evaluating my relationships even on social media. Although, deceitful people provide false information in their profiles, I find that by applying principle 1. above, I shut out a significant percentage of them. I think that my friends who I mentioned above have achieved the success they have with social media because they have chosen their friends based on principles.

Should you want the book, "How to Be A Best Friend Forever" by Dr. John Townsend, let me know in the comment box below.

And now it's your turn. Would you like to share with me something from the book you are reading?

I Choose To Be Accountable...

An accountability partner is someone who you trust to hold you to the standards that you set for yourself. As stated in the quote by Bob Proctor in the graphic below, "Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to results."

Keeping a commitment to friends is difficult. You really want to be seen as a person of your words. And yet when the going gets tough, you have a reason that you think is good enough to explain why you have not kept the commitment you made to them. What can your friends do? They accept your explanation. Those who hold you accountable listen to your explanations, but, remind you not indulge yourself in excuses.

Last week, I didn't write a post for my blog. A number of my friends checked in with me to find out why. They reminded me that I had requested them to keep me accountable in writing posts for my blog. I am grateful to them that they did. It set me thinking about the commitment I made to you my readers that I will write one post every week. I realised that ultimately keeping a commiment to others begins with keeping a promise to yourself.

And so, this week I choose to keep the promise to myself and then to you.

As I searched within myself to find out why I was not writing my blog posts., I admitted to myself, that in some way, I expect the post to write itself. I hear you asking, "How do you mean?" One I'd written a post and published it, I went merrily on my way and I didn't give the blog another thought until it was time to publish another one. Of course, it's not so easy to think up a subject, develop it and then write a post in the twinkling of an eye. So, I'd struggle with it and when I make no headway, I'll then say to myself, perhaps I'll just leave it off till the next week. I see now what may have led to my blog going comatose in my earlier attempts.

I am learning that I need to think ahead. I need to choose the subjects I'll write about well ahead. I need to include in my schedule, time to develop my thoughts and time to write my posts.

You my friends are doing a good job of holding me accountable. Now I need to show by the provision I make in my weekly plan that I intend to keep my commitment, first to myself and then to you all. That I will do.

Now is there some way I can reciprocate the favour you have done to me of keeping me accountable? Let me know......