Learning From The Bookseller of Kabul

Travel and books are means of educating the mind.

Waiting for a three hour flight from Dubai to New Delhi, I browsed the shelves of a bookstore in the airport. I was intrigued by a book with the title, "The Bookseller of Kabul" by Asne Seierstad. I am a bookseller and thought it would be good to read the experiences of another bookseller living in  a country that shares some of the challenges of my own dear country.

Source:Goodreads

Yes, the book was about a bookseller, but there was more. I have paid but fleeting attention to the news about Afghanistan over the years. There was enough trouble in my own community to worry about.

As I turned the pages of this book, I got a close glimpse of one Afghani family. I learnt some of their culture. I saw the Taliban issues through the eyes of ordinary people who lived through it all.

Reading about Sultan Khan the bookseller, who is the subject of the book, rekindled the passion I have for selling books and for passing on the love of books to others around me. He saw books as a means of storing and passing on the on the history, the arts and culture of a people. He refused to allow the many travails of his nation to kill his passion.

As I read, I thought of the present travails of the book trade back home in Nigeria. Nothing that we experience is close to what the Bookseller of Kabul passed through. His books were set ablaze in a bonfire multiple times.He was imprisoned for operating a bookstore and for selling books that made people think. i concluded that the challenges I currently face as bookseller are not enough to make me give up. i will persevere in the business just like he did.

Amazing, isn't it? That a book about a man I'd never met and probably won't ever meet, and a country that I knew next to nothing about will have such a significant impact on me.

That's what books do.

Which books have you read that had significant impact on you?

My Reading Adventures With Heritage Youth

On Thursday, June 10, 2015, I led a Relationship Chat Session with the youths of New Heritage Baptist Church, Shomolu, Lagos. The session which was part of their 2015 Youth Week was quite interesting. During the session I shared that reading books is one of the ways by which we can equip ourselves for the success of our relationships. At the end of the program, a lovely young lady approached me and asked about my Group Reading Program. I explained that I Got a group of young people who would commit to reading the book, Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married" by Gary Chapman over a six week period, I will commit to coaching them.

 Source:Bookstore Quotes

Never underestimate the power of a determined mind. PrincessDee as her friends call her, responded, "I'll get back to you ma." She got back to me by email, having recruited fifteen of her friends to sign on to the Reading Program. The six weeks Reading Program kicked off on June 29, 2015.

Some expectations shared by the participants were:

1. For the fun of it. Never joined a reading group before. 

2. To grasp new knowledge that I may not have known by now with respect to marriage questions coupled with boosting my reading culture to grow in this area.

3. To be more prepared and enlightened to have and know what it takes to have a successful marriage.

4. A broader understanding of relationships and how to drive them towards a long-lasting marriage. The simple necessary actions to keep a woman and keep her happy. 

5. To find answers to questions relating to marriage and prepare for the marriage institution. 

6. That I may understand the basic and essentials of marriage for me to enjoy it to the fullest.

7. At the end of the program, I hope to have grown in my relationship with God and have a better understanding of his purpose for my life. Also, as a young Christian lady looking forward to the marriage institution, I want to gain a deeper knowledge of my roles as a wife and mother to be in order to have an excellent home. 

8. To get the most out of the book to help me develop healthier relationships with the view of a successful marriage. To also identify the major pitfalls in choosing a life partner.

9. To get knowledge on how to build a successful intentional relationship (not random dating) and avoid the pitfalls and mistakes made in previous relationships. 

10. I expect to have a better understanding to the concept of marriage, to understand my role and task as a woman in a relationship and eventually as a wife. I expect to be able to learn from other people and to generally learn new ideas and views to make myself better.

11. To choose the right man, to develop a healthy relationship with my spouse.

It was an interesting six weeks.

We had two 2-hour virtual meetings on BlackBerry - the first three weeks into the program and the second at the end of six weeks. The discussions were very enlightening for me as one who works with young people and also as a parent of young adults who are trying to figure out their way in life.

My young friends had a tough time finding the time to read the book and do the required assignments with their personal hectic schedule of leaving home early for work and getting back late. They found the time because of the accountability process of the Reading Program. At the end of six weeks, they appreciated that finding time to read was doable and greatly beneficial.

Were their expectations met? Here are the words they used to describe their experiences. Awesome and revealing. Enlightening. Refreshing. Revolutionary. Eye opening and educating.

And me, how did I feel? Astounded to say the least. I have once again experienced the significant impact that reading books can have in the lives of the people who read them. I first read Gary Chapman's book some years ago. I have since then recommended it to many people and sold it at Hidden Treasures Bookstore. This group is the second one I've done the six weeks Reading Program with. The feedback is the same - "Thank you for introducing this book to us."

And you know what? If I meet the fifteen young people I worked with in these past few weeks, I will not recognise them. I am yet to have a face to face meeting with them. *smiling* I look forward to meeting them all soon.

My takeaway? There's plenty of avenues for me to teach and encourage the love of books and of reading!

Thank you New Heritage Baptist Church and Heritage Youth for inviting me to your church. Thank you Likeminds Reading Group. Thank you PrincessDee for putting the group together and for being the Group Admin.

And now it’s your turn. You had any reading adventures recently? Share them..

I'd Really Love To Read Books, But...

I have read books all of my life. 

At my bedside, there is always a pile of books so that once I lie down on my bed, I pick one up to read. As I go about my work rounds, I have a book with me. On my way to a meeting, while I'm waiting for a meeting to start, I read. When I have an issue on my mind which I want resolved, but can't figure how to resolve it, I pick up a relevant book and read. When I need to learn a new skill I look for a book that explains how to do it and read.

For a long time, I have assumed that this way of reading books works for everyone. When I started this blog, I purposed to write about the books I read, reviewing them with a view to encouraging others to read too. This has shown me that I have a very haphazard reading pattern. I look at various books at the same time. I start one and read a few pages, maybe chapters and then move on to another. I now realise that I have in reality read bits here and there of many books.

In my post, I'm at the Starting Block...,I made a public commitment in 2014, to read for 15 minutes each day starting from August 1, 2014. I do long to really keep this commitment. My desire is to blog about the books I read. Nine months later, I am still struggling with finding the "appropriate" time to read books in a structured disciplined manner. I am also still struggling with picking up a book to read and staying with it to the last page. So instead of blogging about the books I've read, I am writing about my journey to establish a regular habit of reading books. In a way, this journey is helping me to understand that, perhaps, many people who appear not to read books do read. It may be that, that as it is with me, they have a personal style.

Source: Wright Thurston

It's not all gloomy news. Blogging reminds me of the reason I made the commitment in the first place - to share my love for reading and the lessons I learn as I read books. As I sit to write my posts, I have an opportunity to review my progress towards the achievement of this objective and to revise my strategy for doing so. I recognise now that I need to be more intentional about my efforts if I really want to get to my desired goal.  Nana Fredua-Agyeman's "A Reader's Tips to Cultivate a Reading Habit" has provided me some insight into the steps I should take. Some of these are:

• Identifying a specific area of interest for my reading habit
• Developing a specific strategy to drive my reading habit.
• Being disciplined and consistent in implementing that strategy
• Keeping company with other people who have or are cultivating the habit of reading books.

I am renewing my commitment to read books. I will persevere until I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I invite you come along with me on this journey. 

Did You Really Read That Book?

We buy a book and read through it once and then put it away on the bookshelf. But, did we really read that book? How many times should a book be read? 

Source: Oh, The Books!

About a fortnight ago, a friend invited me to join a Mastermind group to study "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" by John C. Maxwell. I had always wanted to participate in a Mastermind group. Plus, I was examining my life to identify areas that need improvement or adjustment. So I promptly committed to the ten-week group.

Now my first contact with this book was in 2003 when Hidden Treasures Bookstore opened for business. In that season, it was one of our best sellers. As a bookseller who wanted to be on top of her game, I read the book at the time. But, did I really read that book?

I received the first pre-meeting assignment and purposed in my heart that I would be a diligent, focused member of the Mastermind group. I set out to get a new copy of "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" and discovered that it had been revised in 2007. Once I got the revised edition, I commenced reading. Again and again, as I read on, I asked myself, "Did I really read that book?" 

You must be wondering why this question kept coming up. The question arose because although I had vague remembrances of the knowledge I grasped when I first read the book in 2003. I had forgotten much of what I read. As I turned the pages, I noticed some important information for the first time. In addition, with the experience of passing years, I reckon that some information also became more relevant to me. I wasn't the same person I was twelve years ago. I've grown and had varied leadership experiences. I look back and assess my performance as leader in the years gone by. All of these changed how I now view the book, "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership". Perhaps, I now appreciate the book as I didn't do in my first reading. Perhaps things I glossed over then, now have meaning in the light of my experiences.

I ask the question again, "Did you really read that book?" when you read it just once. There probably are various reasons why you don't re-read books. Some would say, with so much to do, who has the time to re-read a book they already read? Some others would say, I have read it once, and I already know what's in the book, why re-read it? I'd say, don't dismiss re-reading a book you have read. Re-reading can be a useful tool. Think of how you will request a teacher to go over some material you really want to understand. Why not take the same desire to understand a little further and re-read a book once in a while?

Now it’s your turn. Did you really read that book?

Books - A Peep Into The Lives of Others...

A few weeks ago, I was browsing and saw a book advertised. Zachary's Choice: Surviving My Child's Suicide by Suzy LaBonte. I was repelled by the title and in the same breath attracted by it. Numerous questions ran through my mind. Why would a young person commit suicide? What were the circumstances? Why was the child's mum writing about it? What was it like for her? How was she coping with it?

Source:Christianbook.com

I searched for and located the book in my favourite ebook store,  and added it to my wish list. Every now and again I looked at the book. I read the reviews from others who had read the book. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me. I just had to find out what the story was in this book. I clicked on the "Buy Now" button and the book was in my library. 

I turned the page and started to read. Indeed, Suzy's teenage son, Zachary had committed suicide. As I read the first chapter, I felt like I had been kicked repeatedly in the stomach. I shared Suzy's distress as she discovered that her son had not only died but had killed himself. In the following chapters, I sat with Suzy as she recounted how she walked through those dark days of coming to terms with her son's death.

She wrote, " Suicide now lives in my house as surely as my son did not. It was a scandalous dirty word to me, an unclean taboo, full of fearful stigma, a social leprosy of repulsion and terror. In my naive mind, suicide has always been a dishonourable method of death associated with those who were in trouble or who had no one to love them and nowhere to turn.Suicide wasn't a word to be associated with a treasured child, loved by his siblings, adored by his parents and treasured by his relatives.It wasn't a word to be linked with a kind talented child who who had tremendous gifts to offer the world.Yet that ghastly word was in my daily vocabulary and had already rolled off my tongue far too many times. Shame on me for my smug and arrogant assumptions. Shame on me for my ignorant and misinformed criticism."

I realised that she wasn't alone in those assumptions and criticism. I was right there with her. Was that not why I was repelled at first by the title of the book? 

I thank Suzy for giving me a peep into her life by writing the book and sharing her experiences. I am now wiser and will deal more sensitively with others who hurt around me. I don't always know the details of their circumstances. 

I also am glad that I read the book, Zachary's Choice. I would never have dared to write or talk publicly about suicide had I not read the book. According to Suzy, suicide is a tough subject and not fun to talk about.However, bringing up this tough subject in conversation with another can open the door to a frank discussion. When suicide and other tough subjects are discussed, taboos are lifted and the powerful chains of silence and isolation are broken. By so doing, maybe, one person would rethink their desperate intention and a life would be saved. Maybe warning signs could be identified and safety measures and counselling could be put into practice.

Just maybe...

One Tool You Should Be Using...Thinking Out of the Box

One tool you should be using is "Thinking out of the Box".

When people say to you, "Think out of the box", what do they mean? They mean think in a way that you wouldn't normally think. Now, we human beings are creatures of habits. We love our comfort zones. It very often takes a crisis to push us out to try something new.

I have always found reading books to be a good way of encouraging myself to think out the box. Some years back, I read the book, Creating You & Co. by William Bridges. At the time I was reading this book, I had been an employee for about twelve years. In all that time I assumed that my employer owed me the obligation of providing me with a secure job once I fulfilled my own part by being a good employee. Everyone I knew, who had a job was looking forward to working till they attained the retirement age.  In this book, I was confronted with realities of the changing world of work. The buzz word then was re-engineering of businesses which very often resulted in down-sizing of the workforce. Bridges helped me to begin to think about my work in a different way. I began to think of myself as the CEO of Me and Co. and realised that I needed to take responsibility for the path that my career would take from then.

Roy H. Williams, the New York Times best-selling author of teh The Wizards of Ads Trilogy of books, published an article "Your Seat in the Stadium of Life". In this article, he said, 

"Your box is your perspective, your worldview, your schema - the sum of your life's experiences - your own personal set of assumptions. Like a seat in a stadium, your "box" determines the angle from which you view every game.

What people call "thinking outside the box" can be accomplished only by getting out of your seat and walking to an unfamiliar part of the stadium to borrow the seat of someone else.

Now you're seeing things from their view. You're still in a "box", but it's not your own. You've borrowed a new perspective so that you're seeing your problem through the eyes of another - according to their values and assumptions." Read more here...

A book that you choose to read, very often enables you to borrow someone else's seat in an unfamiliar part of the stadium of life and see life through their eyes. In the book, you have the opportunity of seeing how things will turn out if you choose paths of action that are different from what you are familiar with. The beautiful thing is that you see all this without having taken any step forward in any direction.

Since reading "You & Co.", I have read other books which have firther solidified my perception that my career in my business.

And now it's your turn. Which books have helped you to begin thinking out of the box?

Why I Love Reading Books About Other Peoples' Experiences...

Autobiographies and biographies, that's what books about the life experiences of people are called. One such book is "Long Walk to Freedom" by Nelson Mandela, the first black president of South Africa. Another is "Gifted Hands" by Ben Carson, the first surgeon to successfully separate conjoined twins at the head.

Source: First Grade Blue Skies

I love reading books about peoples' experiences. There is nothing that happens to me that is not common to man. Someone somewhere has walked that path before me. Through the pages of these books I walk with and share their experiences. I learn from them how to handle different life situations. I discover ideas and approaches which I can use in my own life. 

(Auto)biographies allow me to see the world in new ways. As I read about someone from a different era, a different background, even a totally different set of experiences, I gain a new perspective about my own life situation.

When I read books about other peoples' life experiences, I get a glimpse into their minds and now have the advantage of knowing them. As I think about what they might do in the situation I am facing, they become my mentors from a distance.

I recently had the privilege to read "Miracle on the Hudson' by Chigozie Udemezue, founder of Healing Hearts Widows Support Foundation. Chigozie who is my friend, wrote about her experiences after her husband died. Her exuberantly healthy husband was snatched by death and while she was still reeling from that painful loss, she had a baby who the medics said would survive only by a miracle.Her baby survived, demonstrating God's mercy and astounding the medics who declared that they had indeed seen a miracle happen before their very eyes. 

Life handed her a lemon and a very bitter one at that, but she chose to make lemonade out of it and then serve it as a refreshing drink for others. She wrote about her experiences to encourage others along life's way.

Source: Gozie Udemezue

Since reading the book, whenever I encounter what I consider a tough situation, I find myself thinking, "What would Chigozie do if she were in my shoes?" I have gained a new perspective on how to respond to life challenges.

Choosing to read (auto)biographies is a great way to expand your horizons, find new mentors and learn vicariously from others.

  

Now it's your turn. What (auto)biographies have you read and what impact have they made on you? If you haven't read any, I encourage you start, perhaps with "Miracle on the Hudson". You'd be glad you did.